Trevor's Travels: -Farewell-

1) The beginning of the end-

10-11-2007
The party is over; I have officially finished my Peace Corps service and have left Bulgaria indefinitely. I have spent the last few weeks tying up loose ends and jumping through the Peace Corps’ bureaucratic hoops. After getting through a strenuous medical examination, and an outrageous amount of paperwork; I was finished…….. and am now officially a "Returned Peace Corps Volunteer"(RPCV).Well…………….. what can I say about the end……………I can say that the last couple weeks have been jam packed full of warm conversations, stressful situations, awkwardness, drunkenness, confusion, fear, joy, and at the end of it all blissful relief. I am officially outro!!!! I am no longer weighed down with strict Peace Corps rules and restrictions…….and thankfully I will no longer be living life like a fish out of water. Not that I have lived the last two years of my life in awkwardness and fear but living alone in a strange and foreign country for two years….is no walk in the park. In retrospect, the substantial amount of depression, loneliness and boredom I faced throughout the last two years of my life, is quite frightening. Despite the fact that I had wonderful local friends and was accepted by my adopted community with open arms; I cannot erase the fact that I stuck out like a sore thumb more often then not.
The Friday before I left Chirpan, the municipality threw me a large farewell bash. We started with a small field soccer game and followed with a prolonged evening of eating, drinking, and sloppy drunk dancing. A few kind words were said by my colleagues that made me momentarily wish I could stay in Chirpan forever. I will miss my friends and colleagues immensely and will truly never forget my time in Chirpan. I ended up giving a short speech and was able to thank my friends and colleagues for their abundant amount of support and kindness throughout my time in Chirpan. I was blessed with two full years of unforgettable memories; moments that will truly be remembered as highlights of my life. My farewell party was difficult to endure at times but overall was a joyous celebration of reminiscence, recollection, smiles and joyous laughter. I was happy to leave Chirpan, but am now somewhat frightened about what lies ahead. I again am homeless……..I again am a wandering soul……I again am without a country…….I again am on a pathway of uncertainly and will willingly endure more time away from my family and friends.

Hard times associated with Peace Corps life are absolutely unavoidable; the much used Peace Corps motto: “Peace Corps will be the hardest job you will ever love” is without a doubt full of truth and accuracy. My life in Chirpan, Bulgaria was full of darkness, depression, sadness, and uncertainty. My experiences in Bulgaria were in no way easy for me,……..things were actually down right horrible at times. Dark, cold, lonely, winters plagued with depression and insecurity will not be missed! However, warm friendly locals, and kindhearted-funny-caring colleagues will be. It saddens me to imagine a life without my office mates (Petia, Svetla, Romi and Ivan). I always enjoyed coming to the office because they were my close friends and were always there for me during my times of hardship and desperation. They understood my disposition and were sympathetic to my everyday challenges. No matter how rough and strange things became, I could always count on them to lend me an ear. I was overcome with warmth and regret as I gazed out the bus window and watched my colleagues wave me goodbye for the last time. The harsh symbolism of my bus pulling away from Chirpan for the final time proved to be both overwhelming and surreal. My emotions were running wild; I felt like I was making a horrible mistake, a sort of betrayal. How could I invest two years of my life in a community, and then simply abandon them entirely? How could I be leaving these people behind? When would I be able to see them again? When will I have the opportunity to return to the quiet town of Chirpan, my home of the last two years?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh………….such is life! All things must come to an end……..and as mentioned previously,…….it would not be possible for me to continue my life in Bulgaria under the same circumstances. My mental health would implode and I would end up behaving much like Jack Nicholson in ‘The Shining’ at winter’s first snowfall.Now what????????????? Well that is surprisingly an easy question to answer; I will travel the world and like an avalanche collects snow, will gather and absorb an abundance of newfound knowledge, appreciation and experience that words will never adequately be able to describe.

-Municipal soccer crew-